What is needed

Hello Potential blog readers.........sorry I have not blogged in a long time things have been chaotic having two kids with autism. One my daughter will be 12 the end of this month. My son is 14 and is becoming increasingly violent towards us and our house ....we are trying to seek help by putting him in a temporary home but it's a long tedious process .
We are also in the process of investigating a new neurologist as our current one just isn't working out.for us and all he seems to be doing is adding new drugs which we think is ruining his appitite he has lost a lot of weight
I often wonder when God is going to come through and work a miracle in our kids lives.......In his time I suppose. I Just have to keep the faith pray and read the bible
One question my husband and I are often asked is. "How do you do it ?
The only thing I can say is with Gods help.........because with out Gods help I would have given up and  Killed myself long ago.
Since I last wrote on my blog we discovered that my husband has autism too......Wow life is not dull around here but it defuses the booster shot theory or the C Section theory to me
People are always stating there opinions about autism.........but you know the people that live it day in day out get my attention fast.
I don't mind getting autism articles ext from people who aren't experienced but I would prefer a clean funny joke,a scripture verse,or words of encouragement and prayer.. If you live close and want to help out in some way money for gas .a sitter for at least my daughter on Sunday,Wednesday night and Saturdays during the day is badly needed.
I also need clothes for myself always need those as Rebecca fits into a majority of them.
I struggle with destructive thoughts sometimes because of my Bipolar/Manic deppresive disorder and Boarderline Personality. I don't and wont act them but they are still there .......I don't need people telling me my children and I ext are demon possesed.
I know where I stand with Jesus and have felt his protection.
I believe in continuous faith and prayer
I believe that somewhere in time there will be healing in my family but unfortunately it's not in my time Yet fourtunately it's in Gods hands not Satans

Where it All Begins Montage

Can you hear me ?

Can you hear me ? Can you see me ?.....Do I look alright ? Do you care ? When  you see me in a room full of average looking people. Sometimes you can't until I make an odd sound or run into you cause I can't see straight then you curse and call me names like retard or worse/.....sometimes you see my wheel chair and give me looks of pity when what I really need is for you to say hi I'm Lee and maybe touch my shoulder or shake my hand if I let thee.

Can you hear me Churches can you see? Is there room for mommy,daddy and me ? Will you open your eyes and see how much church is important to us three and many more you see.

Can we worship Jesus and sing off key, Or is that too much for thee

All I want to be is free to be me and worship Jesus too you see

Learning to laugh when life throws dirty diapers atyou.

It's hard to laugh sometimes when you can't see the end of the tunnel. I myself have found it makes the journey so much easier to laugh.
My son loves my bedroom and will stay in there for hours at a time the trouble we have with that is he is 14 and not fully potty trained (though we continue to try) he will often take it upon himself to change diapers after doing his business on our floor and then to hide  it he finds a bed sheet or piece of clothing such as shirts and socks ext to cover the mess
I haven't found the joy and laughter in that.........but I do sometimes find the joy through his infectious laugh that he gets when he gets to go to his favorite stores such as Wal Mart.or watch Veggie Tales
My daughter is the type of kid who makes the funniest faces ext she is the type that would put a bucket on her head dance around and run into walls.
Times like when Matt was little and my husband "played Spirit In Thee Sky" on CD Matthew (1yr old at the time) stood up in his crib and started bouncing and wiggling in his, giggling.
These are just a few things that made us laugh.
I have learned to laugh at myself when I run into things,or trip over things. which happens often because I have depth perception problems.
I sometimes offend people unintentionally because I make jokes about dealing with the ups and downs of Bi Polar/manic depression as I have struggled with it for many years.
Well my gem Matthew is lurking around he's been known to attack me for every noise his sister makes and sometimes just out of the blue......most of it is hormone related so I am going to end this blog post and make sure I'm safe.

My dearest little children

My precious little ones

You are such a treasure

From up above

You were given to us to

Cherish and too love

I am truly thankful for the

Special gift you are

No other child can take

The place of you.

When Jesus brought you too us

We were filled with  wonder and

awe

As we counted your tiny fingers

And cuddled you oh so tight

Your precious beautiful eyes

And face reminded daddy and

Mommy of Gods abiding grace.

Little did we realize,what trials

Lie ahead

As we stroked your little curls

And Kissed your tiny head.

You seemed to progress normally

Until you were nearly 2      

We realized you  were no longer talking

Or doing  things  that children of 2 or 3

 Normally do.

Our hearts were deeply saddened

When after months turned

Into a year then into 2

When we finally heard the

The words your child has Autism

The words wrung loud and clear

But I was in denial

 As I could not face this

daunting trial. or even

shed a tear

I was in denial

The word Autism I could not hear.

For my heart was filled with sorrow

Sadness and fear

 Until  I realized Jesus was

 standing near

Oh Master, Saviour, Jesus, Lord

I finally cried out loud

I know that you are always with us

I just can't help but wonder

Would we ever hear the words

I love you Mommy and Daddy

From our precious children’s lips.?

Would we ever see them run and play baseball and other games

Kids play..?

My heart was filled with wonder and dismay

Until I heard my Savior say “ hush my child

Listen to my voice “

For I have made a special choice

I chose you to be their voice

Though it won't be easy these precious children

Need you so.

I have a special plan for them you see and need

You to help Me., help them grow.

Give them lots of love and tender care and tell them

About Me

Though you may not think they'll understand,

 Just  Leave that up to me

 For I know their thoughts and feelings

 they cannot express to anyone but

 me

For I am their Heavenly Father

You see . 

Creator of all things

 I have blessed them with a gift

 That the world needs to see

 A gift that will bring new life

And set souls free

 If only you will trust me

 And give them back to me

My Saviour Lord and King I

 I give you every thing these

Children we will  raise and

Give you all our praise

      

Help me to understand the hurting

Hearts filled with uncertainty and fear

Who look upon my children as burdens

 Of doom and despair.

Help me to love them

 With  your perfect love

And show them  these special children

Are gifts from God above

Who need tenderness

And love. Before they are

Murdered and thrown away

For they have a voice that

We cannot hear calling and

Crying  for life so dear

Lord help them there dyeing

By millions each year.

Help us to show them

We care

Laura MacNair

The reason behind my Title

H! My name is Laura and I have two autistic treasure nick named "little man "(14yrs old ) and a "little" 11 yr old girl named "Boo (from monsters inc). I am 41 and married to my husband Sean.
I am going to come right out and say it.........I am a Christian so you may see a lot of christian based stuff on here if that offends you don't read my blog.
My husband has Aspergers Syndrome and me I am Bi Polar/Manic Depressive  and Boarder line Personality Dissorder and have other health problems.
So life is never dull around here.
I apologize for poor spelling and grammar errors something I need to work on.
I have many hobbies and writing poems,songs, children's stories are just a few.
I hate discussing politics so you won't be hearing it from me .
I won't argue religion I might share how I became a Christian but you don't have to read it if you don't want too. I will share some aspects from my past so I ask anyone that knows my parents and sisters to not approach them about what I say........every family has their secrets but I am  not going into all those just some things I struggled with.
I will be sharing jokes and humor (clean humor)
I will probably share recipes or whatever comes to mind.within reason